


Keep the Faith

by nerdqueenenterprise



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, also the drug is weed so it's not actually bad, this is like... a Bad Au but also kinda good?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 20:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18079991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdqueenenterprise/pseuds/nerdqueenenterprise
Summary: Hugh is the opposite of elated to be spending yet another weekend at some bible study camp. That is, until he meets his roommate.





	Keep the Faith

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pencilguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pencilguin/gifts).



> pencilguin made me write this. i'm not to blame. at all. ever.
> 
> i actually have no idea about bible camps or the like, but they're probably bad. at least this one is.

Hugh suffers through the last of his mother’s parting hugs and kisses before turning and not quite fleeing the scene. She had, much to his embarrassment, called ahead and asked about his room assignment, so now he’s one of the few who can skip the queue of laughing, joking peers and already head in and sit in his room and hopefully get the lower bunk and just wait around and feel awkward.

The corridor to the sleeping quarters is as small and dark and damp as it is every time he’s here, the rickety little doors and their frames having their paint scraped off by generations and generations of boys, brass numbers barely retaining their shine.

23\. That’s his. His and the other boy’s, whoever that might be. Hugh really hopes he’ll be a bit nicer than the guy from last time.

He pushes the door open, angles creaking loudly, and goes in, little suitcase held in front of him.

The room is tiny, with the paint scratched and cracked, bare metal framed bunkbed pushed to the one side and a small table with two chairs. At least this room doesn’t look out on the courtyard but to the actual outside instead, no matter how small and grubby the window is. It even has thin lace curtains.

Also, there’s already another person’s backpack on the floor.

“Hi,” other person says, making the entire bed wobble when he swings his legs over the rungs of the ladder. He took the top bunk, then. At least that’s something.

Hugh drops his suitcase with a little sigh and looks up. “Hi, I’m Hugh.”

The other boy gives a little wave and a self-deprecating smile. “Paul. Nice to meet you. I guess. Sorry, my, um, mother called ahead so I’d already know my room number. It’s super embarrassing, but.” He gives a little half shrug and ducks his head.

Hugh is suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of kinship. At least that drowns out the shock of how _cute_ this guy is.

“Mine too. She does it every year, and I hate it so much. I’ll be sitting in the room for ages waiting for the roommate to show up and it’s super awkward and boring.”

“Right?! I hate it so much. I also hate going here in general. It’s so awful, oh man. Everyone else goes to do cool shit but no, all I wind up going to is these weekends or also that one summer camp up in, what, New Hampshire or something?”

Hugh can’t help but laugh, hopping up on the table. Despite everything, this weekend will actually be great with Paul.

“Angel Falls Bible Study Camp for Teenage Boys?” he asks.

“That one, yeah! Have you ever been?”

“No, but I will, this year. My parents don’t like the one where they used to send me anymore, because we got ’too much free time’ and the people weren’t strict enough or something.”

“Oh really?”

Hugh shrugs and tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. Guys like Paul usually don’t really pay too much attention to guys like Hugh. Despite his slacks and button up shirt, Paul has the attitude of someone in a very cool leather jacket, and Hugh… likes that.

“So why are you here?” he asks, really trying to keep a lid on those other feelings.

Paul gives him a meaningful look. “I’m queer. My parents think that with enough bible study and churchgoing, I’ll end up not being queer anymore. Because that’s how that works.”

A huge grin involuntarily spreads itself over Hugh’s face, happiness making him giddy.

“What. It’s completely normal. It’s not funny!” Obviously Paul misinterprets his smile.

“No, sorry, I don’t mean - just - I’m gay.” It rushes out of him, this confession that he’s never made before, and to a complete stranger at that.

“Oh!” Now it’s Paul’s turn to smile. “Do your parents know?”

“I really hope not.”

“That bad, huh?”

Hugh looks away and kicks his feet for a bit. “Yeah. I just… well, anyways, one day I’ll move out and then they can’t do anything anymore, right?”

“College?” When Hugh nods, Paul nods as well. “Me too. Gonna be so good.”

“How did your parents find out?”

“I told them. Like a fucking idiot. We had this school dance and they were telling me to ask a girl out for it and… I told them that I actually fancied a guy, and - well, anyways. I mean, I like both, right? But… more guys than girls. So… well, guess I’m glad they only make me go to more church stuff and bible study and shit. I’m not, like, grounded or anything. But… ugh.”

“It sucks,” Hugh agrees.

“Yeah. But also, hey! You smoke weed by any chance?”

Hugh sputters. “Wh- what? I’ve never - no, dude, my parents would kill me.”

Paul smirks. “Well, they’re not here, are they? And last time I was here I figured out how to get up on the roof without being noticed. It’s really cold and windy up there so if you do it at night they’ll never find out.”

“I don’t even have weed though.”

“I do.”

“You’re a real rebel then, huh?”

“Sure am.”

They both share a look and then break out into giggles.

“Alright then,” Hugh hears himself say. “But also - uh. Hey. Paul. My family is controlling, and you’re cute, so… be my boyfriend for the weekend?”

It’s mostly a joke, but Paul goes a little slack jawed.

“Hell yeah,” he breathes. “Oh man. Oh _man_. Fuck yes I will. Shit, I didn’t expect that at all.” He runs a hand over his face.

Hugh is a little dizzy and a lot proud of himself.

“I’ve never actually been with a guy,” Paul admits, still with a slightly disbelieving smile.

“Me neither. I’ve also never smoked weed.”

“Well, I’ll show you.”

“Right.” Hugh can’t stop smiling either. “Hey, we should probably go to roll call or something.”

“Yeah, right. Can’t be queer all the time at a bible study weekend.” Paul hops down from his perch, stumbling slightly and almost bumping into Hugh’s knees. It is a very tiny room.

Hugh slides off from the table too, and now they’re really standing almost nose to nose. Paul is about as tall as him, with very fair skin and blue eyes and possibly translucent eyelashes.

“Hi,” Hugh breathes.

Paul reaches out and touches their hands together. Hugh takes his.

“Hi,” Paul whispers back.

“I know I kinda said it as a joke, but I really wanna kiss you now,” Hugh admits.

“Me too. But…” Paul drops his gaze and steps away. “If we get caught, we - well, let’s not. Get caught, that is. We should - maybe later. When we’re somewhere safe.”

“Confessional booth in the chapel,” Hugh mutters.

Paul bursts out laughing and Hugh grins. He may only have known Paul for ten minutes, but he already really, really likes him. He’s funny and cool and edgy and nice and really, really cute. So maybe this weekend will actually be fine.

 

 

 

 

 

After roll call they go to their first sermon and prayer, then there’s actually the first bible study, where unfortunately Paul and Hugh aren’t in the same group, but they manage to meet up again when they all go to dinner.

Dinner is mashed potatoes and green beans, all with as little seasoning as possible, with a fruit for dessert.

“So how was your bible study? Enjoy yourself? Found your path to God?” Paul asks, sliding into the chair next to Hugh.

Hugh wants to reply, but then someone starts to say a prayer for dinner and they all have to pray along. Paul mutters along as listlessly as Hugh, and as soon as they’re allowed to eat he snatches up his utensils.

“I may be as white as you get, but even I can appreciate seasoning,” he declares before shoving a big spoon of mashed potatoes into his mouth. “Bu’ ’m alsho hungwy.”

Hugh laughs and starts eating as well. The mess hall is a little too noisy for proper conversation, and he’s painfully aware of how little he actually knows about Paul, but the companionship is nice.

 

 

 

 

 

Once dinner is over, they’re sent to their rooms to unpack, and then there’s a communal room to be sitting in and play some games and be communal and all that.

Paul makes a beeline to two overstuffed armchairs in a corner with a little table between them, a good ways away from everyone else so they won’t be overheard, and Hugh gladly follows him. It’s nice to not have to worry about finding someone to chat with during these mandatory communal evenings.

His chair has a spring poking into his butt, and from Paul’s wiggling he doesn’t seem too comfortable either.

“So,” Hugh tries. “Wanna play… err. I guess this is backgammon?”

Paul eyes the game on the table. “Do you know how to play?”

“Not really, no.”

“Me neither. I don’t like board games.”

“What do you do instead? As like, a hobby?” Hugh tries.

Paul shrugs and finally settles into sitting cross-legged in the chair. “Video games, I guess? I’ve got a pretty powerful PC and then also a bunch of Nintendo consoles. Erm… I’m also on the swimming team? And I sorta have a job as a dogwalker. I like dogs. That’s about what I do. The rest of the time I just… study, or something. I get money for good grades and also… well, I guess it helps with college and stuff.”

“What do you want to study?”

“Biology. It’s really cool.” Paul plays with the hem of his sleeve. “Also, biology says being queer is natural, so, obviously I’d go for that.” He laughs, but it’s tinged with sadness. Hugh feels for him. “What about you though? You got any cool hobbies?”

“Cool? Me? No. I think my hobbies are just… boring stuff? Reading, I definitely like reading. And photography. And then I also work out and stuff, and my parents made me join this church group that helps old people get their groceries and clean their apartments and get to appointments and stuff.” He doesn’t talk about his interests often, and it’s weird to be this open all of a sudden.

“What kind of stuff do you read?”

“Um. Books?”

Paul giggles. “Yeah, obviously. What kind? What genre or series or something?”

Hugh feels hot and vulnerable. “Fantasy. Science Fiction. Stuff where… I don’t know, where people choose their own destinies or something, and then they save the world.”

“Aww. That’s… I get that. I like those books too. We should totally exchange recommendations later when I can actually write them down.”

“Yeah.”

“So… what about college?”

“Ugh. Well… my parents want me to become a priest, so I’m supposed to study theology.”

“Oh, ew. Nasty.”

“Yeah,” Hugh agrees. “I couldn’t imagine anything worse, to be honest.”

“So what do you want to do?”

“Um… medicine. I want to be a doctor.”

“Oh, that’s _awesome_!” Paul exclaims. “That’s really cool! Fits you, too. More than being a priest, anyways.”

“Thanks. Yeah, it’s… I want to help people, you know? And also it’s just very interesting too. And I might earn enough money to really get away from my family. Move to, like, LA or something.”

“Yeah. Somewhere warm, with a beach.” Paul grins. “But cool. That’s cool.”

They shyly smile at each other for a bit.

“I think we can go back to our rooms,” Hugh says, not entirely sure what he’s trying to imply.

There’s a mischievous glint in Paul’s eyes as he leans forward and Hugh immediately leans in too. “So,” Paul whispers as quietly as he can while still being audible in the noisy room. “You know how we’re not allowed to have any electronics and stuff? I brought my Switch.”

Hugh nods, trying to look conspiring even though he has no idea what Paul is talking about. “Is that good?”

“A Switch? Er, yeah? For playing games and stuff. Obviously I brought a couple games too. And snacks. And I’m willing to share them… with my boyfriend.”

They laugh and Hugh feels warmer and happier than he has in a while.

 

 

 

 

 

Paul rummages through his backpack and finally pulls out a little case.

“You want a kiss?” he asks.

Hugh sputters.

“A Hershey’s,” Paul clarifies. Then he laughs. “You can have the other kind… later.”

They sit on Hugh’s bed together, with the Switch in front of them and their shoulders leaning together. Paul lets Hugh choose the game and then they play.

By the time they hear the first supervisor beginning to walk through the corridor, calling for bedtime, Paul has snuggled progressively closer and now almost has his head on Hugh’s shoulder.

They hide the console in Paul’s backpack again and head to the communal bathroom to get ready for bed. When they get back to their room, it’s just in time for the night supervisor to come in and tell them to turn their lights off.

Hugh crawls into his bed and listens to Paul crawling into his.

“So,” he whispers into the quiet darkness once Paul has settled. “How do we get up on the roof?”

Paul snickers. “You wanna have a smoke so badly?”

“What? No, I don’t care about - about that. It’s not really my thing.” I want to kiss you, he doesn’t say.

“Well, we gotta wait at least an hour, so they think everyone is asleep.”

“What do we do until then?”

“Tell me a secret.”

Hugh can hear the smile in Paul’s voice. “A secret?”

“Yeah. Something you’ve never told anyone before.”

“Um. I’ve never been in love.”

“Why?”

“You said to tell you a secret, not to explain a secret,” Hugh says. “But the truth is… I don’t know. I’m too scared, I guess. I’ve had crushes, a little bit, but… my parents would kill me if they found out that I’m gay. So… I can’t really fall in love, you know? It’s just going to break my heart.”

“I get that. I’m sorry.”

“You’re in the same position though, right?”

Paul’s shrug wobbles the bedframe. “I dunno about your parents obviously, but mine just want to pray the gay away. They’re not going to hit me or anything if I show up with a boyfriend. They’ll just… be disappointed and yell and make me feel bad and ground me, so… well, not really anything out of the ordinary with that. They do that all the time already, so who cares, you know?”

Hugh doesn’t know what to say. “Sorry.”

“One day I’m going to move out and go to college and kiss all the cute guys and - and go to a pride parade or something. That’s not really a secret though. So… okay. Here’s my secret. I use my father’s laptop to torrent porn. And movies.”

“ _What?!_ ” Hugh laughs, which shakes the whole bed. “That’s _insane_! Why would you do that?”

“’Cause like… I don’t wanna get in trouble with the law or anything, and my father is an asshole. My mother is disappointed and stuff about me being queer, and my father is really angry about it and is all ’I raised a son and not a … insert homophobic slur here’, you know?”

“Don’t get caught though.”

“Nah, I won’t. Don’t worry.”

 

 

 

 

 

They keep quietly whispering until eventually Paul deems it safe to go outside. They crawl out of their beds and sneak to get their shoes and jackets and Paul seems to be getting something out of his backpack as well while Hugh opens the window.

Climbing out is easy enough, and then Paul shows him a way to sneak halfway around the building’s wing until they reach a permanent ladder. Hugh follows him up it, and over a sequence of little roofs until they’re on a big slanted roof.

Paul settles right on the top of it and pats the shingles next to him. “Come on, sit down.”

Hugh does, and Paul immediately shuffles closer.

“I got you some sweets. You mind if I smoke?”

“No. And thank you.”

Paul hands him the sweets and pulls a little pouch out of his jacket. The night is bright enough that Hugh can actually see what he’s doing, which is pulling out a lighter and a half-smoked cigarette. Or a joint, rather.

“So is you smoking weed just another instance of rebellion against your parents?”

Paul giggles. “Yep. I don’t really enjoy it awfully much, but I know my parents would _hate_ it, so, you know.”

“You don’t have to do it to impress me, you know,” Hugh says.

Paul lights the joint and takes a drag. Hugh can’t help but watch in fascination. The smell is weird and not really pleasant, but he likes the curve of Paul’s lower lip in juxtaposition with his sharp jaw too much to hate the scene presented to him.

“Aren’t you going to get high?”

“Sure will. That’s what’s so good about it. I can just… be happy for a bit. Not worry about shit. Everything sucks, you know.”

“I get that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Paul exhales in a puff of smoke. “It’s such bullshit. We just wanna… love people, right? What’s wrong with that?”

“Love is love,” Hugh whispers, mostly to himself. “If there is a God, then why would He approve of hatred, but not of love between two people?”

“Right?” Paul slumps and sighs.

On a whim, Hugh puts his arm around him. “I’ve never met another - someone else who’s, you know, not straight before. You’re kinda cool though.”

Paul giggles and leans into Hugh. “You too. Hey… we should exchange phone numbers. So we can stay in touch later.”

“I’d like that.”

“You want to try some weed?” Paul turns and offers the joint to Hugh. Up close like this his pupils are already dilated and his smile is lazy. It’s a good look.

Hugh thinks of his parents and their endless lectures about all the things he shouldn’t do to be a good person. “Sure,” he says with a grin and takes the joint. He puts it to his lips, briefly remembering that he’s touching the same spots that Paul’s lips have touched, like an indirect kiss. Then he sucks.

And promptly chokes and coughs.

Paul laughs heartily, body vibrating where he’s pressed against Hugh. “Jeez, be a bit more careful with your first drag, yeah? Just a little bit!”

Hugh wipes the tears from the corners of his eyes and swallows a few times against the scratchiness in his throat. Then he tries again, just a little bit this time.

It’s weird, definitely weird. Just… plain weird. The taste and the smell and the feel are all not particularly enjoyable, but Paul’s right. The illicitness more than makes up for that, and coupled with the solid warmth from Paul leaning against him it’s actually pretty great.

Hugh still gives the joint back after a few more tiny drags, and Paul accepts it without another word.

They stay quiet for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts. Hugh feels slightly woozy, like the only fixed point in the universe is Paul at his side. Maybe it is. Maybe it’s the drugs making him feel like that.

Paul keeps smoking for a bit and then snuffs out the joint and puts it away again. He sighs, snuggles more against Hugh and puts his now empty hand on Hugh’s thigh.

“So.” His voice is lax. “About that kiss.”

Hugh laughs, because that’s funny. Paul’s funny.

“I’ve never kissed a guy.”

“Me neither.” Paul puts his chin on Hugh’s shoulder and grins at him. “We’re kinda like… virgins now, right?”

His hand is really warm on Hugh’s thigh.

“I’ve never kissed _anyone_ ,” Hugh says, worried that somehow Paul won’t like it then, or won’t like him, or that there’s something wrong with it or him.

Paul shrugs. “I have. This girl. She used to be in my church and then she moved away for college, and then she visited around, like, Easter or something and we kinda,” He laughs. “We kinda fucked. So.”

Hugh suddenly feels very, very young. They’re both seventeen, and Hugh is even three months older, but Paul obviously has so much experience, with drugs and with, with sex and so many other things while it feels like all Hugh does all day is sit inside while life is happening outside. He hates feeling like this. He wants to have experiences too, stuff to brag about, even if just to himself.

So he turns and kisses Paul. His fingers stumble but finally find Paul’s jaw, and he presses his lips against Paul like that’s the most important thing. That and Paul’s hand squeezing his thigh. Paul moves his lips against Hugh and moans. Hugh moans back, a little tentatively, and then Paul’s hand leaves his thigh and wraps around his neck instead. Suddenly, Paul’s tongue is there, kinda wet and all over Hugh’s mouth, but the point is that you kinda open your lips, right, and then the other person sticks their tongue in and it feels good?

Hugh opens his mouth and Paul’s tongue slips in and it’s weird and wet and wiggly, Paul tasting of weed and smoke and toothpaste. It’s oddly nice but also weird and Hugh’s stomach is in knots but he also really, really doesn’t want to stop. So he wiggles his tongue against Paul’s and tries to breathe through his nose and just stay in the moment.

Paul draws back and grins at Hugh. His lips are glistening with spit and kinda red and Hugh really wants to lean in for another kiss.

He puts his hand on Paul’s thigh, belatedly realising that maybe it’s a little too high up and a little too far on the inside, but then he kisses Paul anyways. He feels too hot for the cool night and Paul is too exciting for him to call quits now.

Definitely the best bible camp weekend ever.

 

 

 

 

 

Hugh wakes up to distant morning calls and the sounds of a whole bunch of boys in a lot of small rooms waking up and being noisy and running around. He’s barely blinked a few times before there’s a _FWUMP_ and Paul drops down from above.

“Good morning!” He calls, throwing a beaming smile Hugh’s way. “And,” his voice drops to a whisper. “Good morning especially to my boyfriend.”

Right. Something blooms in Hugh’s chest and he returns the grin.

“Do I get a good morning kiss?” he asks, voice just as low.

“Ew, no!” Hugh’s heart sinks. “Brush your teeth first.” Paul winks and bounces through the room to his clothes and Hugh is really, really happy.

They’ll have to suffer through more bible study and praying and then after the weekend it’ll all be back to normal, but they’ve exchanged numbers already and they’ll keep in touch and it’s not like Hugh didn’t know other people like him existed, but at the same time it _is_ surprising that queer people are actually a thing and here’s one right in front of Hugh and they kissed and it was good and it felt… it felt right.

“What are you thinking about?” Paul plops down on one of the rickety chairs and stares at him. “Not a morning person?”

Hugh smiles at him and sits up, immediately getting goosebumps when he lets the blanket slide away. “No, I’m not. Also… I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe…” Hugh throws a careful look towards the door and lowers his voice. “Maybe being gay is okay, you know? Last night, um, k-kissing you. That felt… good. Like it’s the right thing to do, you know? Love is love, and… yeah.”

“Yeah,” Paul breathes. “Yeah. It’s good. I like it.”

“Me too.” Hugh glances at him. “And maybe we can… again. Sometime.”

“Oh, definitely. Tonight, at the latest.”

Hugh just opens his mouth to reply when there’s a knock on the door.

“Good morning and God bless you two in there too! Now come on, let’s all get ready for morning service!”

Paul rolls his eyes exaggeratedly at Hugh. “We will!” he calls.

They go pray and have breakfast and more bible reading and all that but for the first time it just rolls off Hugh because the memory of Paul pressed against him still warms him from the inside. And maybe it really is going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> spoiler: they keep in touch and end up being roomies at college and things get better :3


End file.
